mimesis.htm

Notes from Mimesis

We constantly look for what to want in others. It's part of human nature. Sometimes this leads to conflict, other times to self-improvement.

We can have thin desires or thick desires. Thin desires are things such as fame, working at a specific company, owning something. They're thin because they don't fulfill us. We chase them because we think other people value them. Because people we value, value them.

Thick desires are deeper yearnings. They're the desires that fulfill our life. Our desire to share knowledge. To learn constantly. To raise a family. To help others. To have a balanced life. They come to us during quiet times. When we are not crowded with external input.

The key is to recognize that mimesis occurs. It depends on the environment you're in. If you work in consulting, it might be working for prestigious clients or having a Chase Sapphire Reserve. If you're in tech it might mean working for Google and earning a high salary. These are desires that take seed once we enter these environments and make us want to copy others.

They're not necessarily bad, but they can lead us astray. We can be constantly chasing them like a dog chasing a bone, and then realize they didn't fulfill us. We didn't want them in the first place.

Mimesis can be worst with people close to us. They call it "Freshmenistan". We compare ourselves the most with people that started in the same position as us. Our friends in college, grad school, our first job. We know we started at the same spot, so we expected similar or better results than them.

It can also happen with celebrities. We look up to celebrities to know what to want. Whether it is drinking Atheltic Greens or having an Oura ring. We want what they want, because we want to be like them.

To cultivate a sense of self, to listen to the things that fulfill you, you need to cultivate anti-mimesis. To build habits, to make space, for those deeper yearnings to bubble up to the surface. Being deep in silence and realizing you don't really want to work in Big Tech. Maybe you just want to build cool things people love in a small company. Or maybe you want to make video games. What's important is having time to listen to yourself.

As Parker Palmer in his book, "Let your life speak", letting life guide you. What are the things that drive you. What energizes you. What are you excited to work on and learn about. What are you always sharing with others. Finding those clues in your life can help you point to areas where you can find fulfillment.

Only you know the answer. Celebrities, friends, YouTubers, can't tell you what to want. Only you can know what fulfills you.

The author ends up suggesting a few practices to cultivate this:

• Cultivating days of silence, being silent for 3-5 days. Even better, doing a retreat.
• Going for a walk in the morning without headphones
• Asking yourself what moments in my life have I been fulfilled, what have I enjoyed doing for its own sake
• Finding what motivates you, is it to share your work with others? to teach other people? to read and write?

Once you understand mimesis, you will hardly see the world with the same eyes. You might start asking yourself why you do what you do. And the answers you get might lead you in a more fulfilling path. ~ ~ ~ ~