how_to_human.htm

Notes on how to be a human

Attention is a gift: attention is a moral act. It creates, brings aspects of things into being. A person who radiates warmth will bring out the glowing side of people he meets.
Be a loud listener: when the other person is talking, listen so actively you are burning calories. Respond with "aha", "yes" or even "amen"
Storify whenever possible: don't ask what do you think about X? ask how did you come to believe X?
Do the looping, especially with adolescents: paraphrase what other people are telling you
Turn your partner into a narrator: ask more details about people's stories
Don't be a topper: if somebody tells you they're having troubles with his teenager, don't turn around and say, "I know exactly what you mean, this things also happened to me and it's worst"

The quality of your conversation will depend on the quality of your questions - David Brooks

As adults we get inhibited with our questions. People are dying to tell you their stories. Very often, no one has ever asked about them.

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Respect in a conversation is like air. When it's present you barely notice it, but when its not, its all you can think about.